If we recognise Tantra as the practice of getting to our natural, connected, non-doing state, it seems logical that it focuses exactly on those forces that prevent us from surrendering – the suppressing, rejecting and hiding. The key in the Tantric approach is to meet these parts of us that try to stay under the radar (and keep us from surrendering to existence) with the acceptance and light of awareness. In our Tantra retreats and workshops, we therefore practise to become aware of the shadows that are there and to hold them close without doing anything with them. This non-doing also means that we don’t try to hold back their power (e.g. our hidden desires). With Tantra exercises like Bodywork, breathwork, touch, and authentic expression we let the shadow quality come to the surface and express itself how it wants (without being destructive to others!). 

The beauty of bringing your awareness to your shadows is that you gain clarity of what it is that your shadow truly needs. This is the moment when you unleash the gifts that have been hiding in the dark. If we start seeing through these inner processes of the shadow aspect, the automatic response of our system is to release the tension that is stored within them. For example, you might force yourself to be social in groups in order to hide your inner feeling of unworthiness. With Tantra exercises and breathwork you can bring your awareness to the effort that you put in to keep up the mask and acknowledge the deeper pain that you try to hide with it. Doing that is like giving a child the attention that it truly needs. The embodied realisation of this attempt and the acknowledgement of the pain of unworthiness, leads to a release of the tension inside. The container that had kept the boiling water in place all of a sudden falls apart and the steaming water can flow in all directions. The feeling of unworthiness transforms and leads to you realising your inherent worthiness that you were trying to artificially reproduce by ‘being social’. Once we clear up the misconceptions that were suppressed in our unconscious, we can realise and embody our natural state of being again. When realising our inherent worthiness, connectedness, love, play, or any other aspect of our naturally blissful state, it becomes clear that life is not a fight to be won, but a dance to be enjoyed. This non-doing state, is the gateway to realising our oneness with existence. 

I want to mention that Tantra is not about clearing ourselves from all shadows, but about realising your oneness – including deep rooted shadows. If we stick to the goal of dissolving all our shadows, we can’t really fall into a state of non-doing, but we keep striving for perfection. Furthermore, as far as I can tell at this stage, there are too many shadows to even solve in one lifetime (if not infinite). The key to Tantra is to live life as an exploration. A continuously deepening exploration in which you realise that you and everyone else is always more mysterious than you can ever comprehend with your mind. Once we take the exploration itself as the goal, we fall into the direct non-doing approach towards existence itself. The shadows are just the stepping stones on the path of realising that you are already a perfect expression of the dance of this universe. Like the Buddha said, “It’s better to travel well than to arrive”.